Play Dates – Do I Stay or Do I go?

 
 

Play dates are great for kids. They need to see their friends, socialize and play. They are also great for parents, as it gives them time to do things like run errands while their children are away playing at a friend’s house. However, it is difficult when you have a little one to decide that you want to drop them off and leave, especially the first time you do it. Play dates were one those things I never really thought about until my son was invited to go to one. Last year, my son was in preschool and made a great group of friends. He started to want to see them on the weekends and play. I spoke to a couple of the moms when I saw them at pick up and drop off and we had all been to each other’s kiddos birthday parties, but really did not know one another.

 
 
My husband and I discussed who we felt comfortable getting together with, and scheduled out first play date. As Saturday got closer, I realized that I had no idea if I was going to drop him off and leave, or stay. I had no idea what the protocol was. I also realized that I really did not know this family. So, we went over and I spent 3 1/2 hours there chatting with the Mom as the kids happily played. I had so much to do and would have like to just drop him off. After that, we had his friend here and both of his parents stayed here with us for four hours. We also had another one of his friends over, and the mom stayed the entire time. What was great is that we ended up making some new friends and it is fantastic to have friends with kids in the same grade. Since then, we have each felt comfortable dropping our kids off and leaving them for a while.
 

Why do I tell you all of this? Well it was little stressful for us, and we had to be ready to spend some time with the parents of the other kids if we wanted to have play dates. Also, because it is a big deal and it is something you do not think about until it comes up. Why is it such a big deal? Well, these are your babies and this is a scary world. People have pools without fences, guns in homes, easily accessible chemical and medicine cabinets, unlocked sheds with dangerous equipment, among other things. Also, it is good to know how do the parents handle discipline if the children do not get along. You need to know where you are leaving your child and who you are leaving them with. So, it is actually a positive to spend your first few play dates with the other families to get to know them. Do not be afraid to ask the hard questions like do they have guns in the house and are they locked up?

 

Here is something else to think about, you child will probably have at least one snack at their house, so you need to tell the other family if your child has any allergies. In fact, bringing an allergy list or your own snacks, may be something to consider. If you do not allow your kids to eat certain foods also tell them that. Along those same lines, you should share if there are things you do not allow your kids to do. For instance, in Arizona where we live, most people have swimming pools. Unless I am there, I do not want my child going swimming. If your child is scared of certain television shows or movies, let them know what those are, and ask if that will be a problem while he is there.

 
 
Having play dates is so beneficial for both you and your children. They need social interaction, and that has not been easy during this pandemic. You can relive a lot of stress if you ask the hard questions upfront and get to know your child’s friend’s family.